Peer Review Reaction

As an author, I didn't have much of my paper since my group meets on Tuesdays, I only had my reason for why I chose this group. I explained how this group was of interest to me and how I had heard about them.
Since Brooke's group was meeting on Tuesday, she just had her first paragraph or so. As a reviewer, I helped Brooke with her introduction and trying to fix how she started into her scene depiction. I wanted her to not jump into it too quickly, she needed to give some background info, like why she chose this group, before just explaining what happened when she was there.
I thought peer reviews would just be a waste of time, but they were actually somewhat beneficial. Even though I didn't have my paper completed, I was still able to get a few helpful tips. However, if we were given a bit more time for the whole project, then it would have been easier to make it to a meeting and had time to write the paper, so come peer review time, we had a foundation to build off of.

Peer Review

There are definitely positives and negative with peer reviews. They can be very helpful with giving improvements for the final draft, but on the other hand some people might not care as much and not put as much effort into the peer review that others might. If the reviewers give good advice on things that will actually help build the overall paper, then I think peer reviews are great.

As a writer, I want the person who’s reviewing my paper to give me honest feedback and help me make an overall better paper. I want to have someone grade my paper that will give feedback that will be beneficial to the overall finished product of my paper. As a reviewer, I need the author to have a decent rough draft so I have something to work off of, and can give solid feedback. For group sizes I think about 3 per group is a good size. Therefore you can have more than one person’s opinion on your paper but it’s not too large and having too many opinions.

  As for length, I think it’s better to have us pick the groups so its people we know will give honest opinions and not a random person that we don’t know if they will have good or bad advice for our papers.  Overall, peer reviews can be very beneficial and help the quality of my finished product, but only if you know the reviewer will give honest feedback that will truly help your paper.

Mini Scene Depiction

From inside the car you can tell it is a nice sunny day outside and SJ and Michael are riding in Michael’s new truck. SJ is sitting in the passenger seat and is sitting up on his legs to raise him up. Michael is driving the car and is focusing his attention toward SJ.  The only music you can hear is what is being played on the radio, “if you want it, you got it.” When this song comes on the radio SJ recognizes it and instructs Michael to “follow my lead”. They alternate singing the lines, and continue to go back and forth, when the chorus comes on they sing together and start to dance. You can just faintly hear the music; the main focus is on SJ and Michael singing along to the song. It is easy to tell they are enjoying their time together and are laughing. They are both casually dressed, Michael is wearing a blue button down with the sleeves partly rolled up with a grey undershirt and SJ is wearing a casual tan t-shirt. They continue to sing and bob their heads up and down with the music. As the other truck backs up into the path of Michael’s truck, the tires begin to squeal and all you hear are the tires and the crashing sound of the truck smashing into the other truck. You see Michael quickly move his hand in front of SJ to protect him against going through the window or the airbag hurting him.

Scene Depiction Essay- Outline

For my scene depiction essay the group/club I plan on observing is CSF. They have lots of smaller groups, some are just for freshman and others are open for anyone. As of now I'm planning on observing the freshman group, which is called Shift. They meet on Tuesdays at 7, I'm going to try to make it tomorrow and if not I will go the following week.
I have always thought about going to CSF, but have never got around to going. I have been raised a christian and have always attended Southland Christian Church which partners with CSF for many different events, so I have always heard about them.

Speech Reaction

When I first watched my speech I had no idea that I swayed back and forth so much. I looked absolutely ridiculous and I guess I just did it because of nerves. I also noticed I talked with my hands a lot, which can be very distracting to the audience, when I move them around so much. So besides the fact that I looked kind of crazy, I felt that overall I sounded decent. I was worried that I would forget my lines and just stand up there like an idiot not knowing what to say, but it turned out better than I thought.

The major part with my actual speech that was probably something I could have improved on is how I transitioned from one part to the next. I didn’t smoothly move through the three components of my speech as much as I could have, if I had just practiced more and paid more attention to those areas in need, it could have sounded much better.  Another thing that also goes along with nerves is that I went through my speech rather quickly. When I practiced it I was consistently right at about 3:20, but when I did it in class I was only a little over 2:20. I wish I could have fixed the fact that I went through it so quickly and skipped over a few things. Information wise, I felt I hit all of my points for my entertainment, career, and family relatively well, I could have elaborated a bit more and gone some more in-depth. So overall, considering the fact that I hate getting up in front of people and I was pretty nervous, I did better than I thought  I was going to do, and was pleased with the outcome.

Speech Outline

Ethos:

                This speech is about my stories and my experiences with my family, entertainment and career and how they all thread together. I get very nervous when talking in front of large groups, so I will need to work on making my speech come out fluent. I just need to practice it often and it should all come together.

Pathos:

                I want to keep my stories up-lifting, and not try to make them emotional and sad. So I kept them interesting and happy to keep the attention of the audience.  I’m using my hook for my emotional connection and will then relate that to my family story.

Logos:

1.       Introduction-

a.       Thesis:  The thread that ties my family, entertainment and career together is how I like to take charge of situations.

b.      Hook: This time last year my parents were divorced, and that is when I really saw myself start to take charge of situations, especially with my little sister. Ever since I could drive I always wanted to help out my dad when he was at work and made sure she had a ride to her cheerleading practice.

2.       Body Points-

a.       Family- I am the middle child, but at times I can act more like the oldest. When something goes wrong in my family, I like to take charge and try to fix it as soon as possible. This past year my parents divorced and since then I have become much closer to my dad. I love to cook and try new recipes, so I like to take charge and make my family dinner.

b.      Entertainment- When I am around my friends I am more outgoing and a bit sarcastic. When I am with a group of my friends I like to take charge and plan what we are going to do. I like to know when and where, we are doing something. One day last year we went on a shopping trip to Cincinnati with a few of my friends, and I planned a schedule of where all we were going to go, so we were sure to hit all the places we wanted to go.

c.       Career- When I am around my fellow classmates and professors I tend to be shyer then I am with my friends and family. I’m usually very shy with people I don’t know. Once I am assigned a task, I like to get it done and move on to the next. I tend to make lots of to-do lists and I love the satisfaction of checking things off them.

3.       Conclusion- My family, entertainment, and career are all merged together by the fact that I like to take charge of situations.

Remember the Titans Coach Boone Speech

       In the movie "Remember the Titans" coach Boone is coaching a team of blacks and whites and he is attempting to bring the team together as a whole and be able to play together as a team. This speech is a turning point in the movie; he explains to his team that if they don't come together and start respecting each other, they will be destroyed just like the soldiers in the battle of Gettysburg. Even though this isn't a typical speech where someone is standing on a stage in front of an audience, it is still very effective. When he does look toward the team he makes eye contact with his players and has a serious look on his face. He wants them to know he means business and isn't joking around.

Ethos: Coach Boone explains his credibility, how he has a personal connection with the battle of Gettysburg and how it ripped his family apart. He is also an authority figure to these player and they know they have to respect him in order to be able to play for his team. His team can relate to it because if they don't come together they will be destroyed also.

Pathos:  The players can see that this has effected him personally and can see his emotional connection to not only the battle but also the game of football.

Logos:  Coach Boone intentionally took them on a run through the woods and for it to end up there on the battleground. He started out how he was personally affected, and then moves onto how they can relate to it and finally finishes with explaining what will happen if they don't take a lesson for it.